JT Phone Home
by Zuzu's Petals
Summary: This one-shot takes place during the season 3 episode "Firinne."  It's the story of the phone call I think was missing.  Somehow this became a variation of my other fic, "And Now?"  I didn't do it!  The characters took over.  I hope you still enjoy it.


"**J.T. Phone Home"**

_a Jax/Tara joint_

_(because they are made of win!)_

_written by_

_**Zuzu's Petals**_

**Disclaimer: I didn't create and don't own any part of **_**Sons of Anarchy**_

**Author's note: This one-shot takes place during the season 3 episode "Firinne." Salazar doesn't kidnap Tara. Jax isn't quite as close to getting Abel back as he is in the actual episode. Some other things might be different too.**

Trinity's face was close to his and he started to lean in, to go for that quick fix that always made the world disappear in sensation and sweat, if just for a few minutes. But he froze halfway there and drew back when she continued forward.

"What's wrong?" she whispered in her soft Irish lilt, her eyes searching his face for an opening where she could slip through.

Jax smiled slightly. "Nothing, darlin'." He stood up and lit a cigarette, his smile vanishing quickly. He wouldn't forget anything with Trinity because there was still only one face he'd see. He usually kept going in spite of that but Tara was back in his life. His sense of her was more intense now. "I'm gonna turn in. You alright?"

"Yeah," Trinity said, not looking at him and feeling piqued.

Jax glanced at her downcast face. He should tell her something; he wasn't a tease. "I got somebody back home, Trinity."

"Oh?"

"I think."

Trinity stood up too. "Maybe you should find that out for sure."

And she left him alone with his dark thoughts of loss – his son and Tara. He paced for a while restlessly. What was SAMCRO doing here in this shit? Jax didn't feel much closer to getting Abel back now than when the club first left Charming. He threw his cigarette down angrily, his hands fisting impotently. Where was his son? While they were playing IRA games and being dicked around by these mick bastards, _where was his son?_

Tears came to his eyes as Jax raked both hands through his hair. He stared up into the night and pain crested sharply in his soul. He wanted Tara with him so badly right now he could taste her. He wanted to breathe her in, swallow her up in the circle of his arms. Thoughts of her were his anchor to sanity. He wanted to grind himself into her heat and feel her love burning and soothing every part of him….

_Fuck!_

He crept hastily into the house. As discretely as his impatience would allow, he bypassed the room he was given upstairs and made sure Gemma and the other females were asleep, or at least not creeping around, then he heard Trinity in the shower.

He went back downstairs to the kitchen phone. Nobody knew SAMCRO had the house swept for bugs in every corner crevice and electrical line. It wasn't easy to get it done on the sneak tip but since it was necessary, they managed it. He could use his cell outside but didn't want to risk the line breaking up, not on _this_ call. As for Maureen's phone bill, Jax didn't give a shit. She'd been nice enough but as far as he was concerned she probably knew as much about Abel's whereabouts as the g*ddamned mastermind priest did, so fuck her too. The call would eventually be discovered and traced of course, but by that time he intended to be back home to take care of any fall-out from that.

Jax sat by the phone and stared at it, drumming the table with his thickly ringed fingers, one foot beginning to tap in tune with them.

"Shit," he swore softly and snatched up the cordless while starting to dial. Halfway through the number he froze and hung up.

_Dammit!_

Raking through his hair again with one hand, he leaned forward, staring at the floor between his knees. Pulling back suddenly, he took another cigarette and a lighter from his breast pocket, lit up, put the lighter back, and leaned forward again, pensively blowing rings of smoke. When Jax decided he'd punked out long enough, he mashed the cig in the ashtray with more force than necessary and slowly dialed the number. It was 3:30am here so it was around 7:30pm in Charming he guessed.

The other line rang so long he was sure the answering service would pick up. When he suddenly heard her breathless voice, his hand tightened around the cordless and for a second his mind went blank.

"Hello," she repeated, sounding edgy.

"Hey…it's Jax."

On the other end of the line Tara sat down heavily, feeling a rush of adrenalin go through her already fried nerves, plus a familiar throb in her feminine core.

"Uh, hi." She dropped her purse to the floor, squeezing her eyes shut. Was her involuntary prayer one of thanksgiving or a request for strength? She'd just returned from a hellish day at the hospital, her morose depression over this man and the early stages of her pregnancy being contributing factors. She missed Jax like crazy. And he was an asshole.

Jax cleared his throat. "How are you?"

Tara's eyes welled with tears while she tried to keep them out of her voice. "I'm – Did you find Abel, Jax?

He rubbed a hand over his face wearily. "No, but we're close. Without going all into it, we're getting the fucking runaround. They're using us and they know we know. But I'm gonna get my son – soon – or I'm gonna _fuck up _everyone and everything I see in this muthafuckin' green bitch. I promise you that."

Tara clutched her cell, her blunt fingernails digging into her cheek. "Please be careful, Jax." After this there was a long silence she refused to break.

"Tara – I am sorry. I treated you like shit. I was so wrong – everything I said, everything I did. My head was twisted into stupid to ever hurt you like that." He fought to get his emotions under control. "Forgive me, please. I want you back, baby. I want us back."

She exhaled somewhere between relief and an anger she couldn't relinquish, despite his words and the bone-melting way he said them. "_I _never went anywhere, Jax."

"I know."

Tara touched her stomach. Had Gemma told him? "You say you want me but do you love me, _really_ love me? Or has this all been the dying embers of a teenage lust that we've been wallowing in ever since we fucked with Kohn's dead body in the same room?"

Her words hurt him and he guessed he deserved it, but _damn - _"You want to make me bleed? Well, I am and that's okay. But you know that shit isn't true. I might be the biggest asshole living right now but I love you so much I can't fucking see straight. And when I hurt you, I fall apart. I need you, Tara. I'm yours and there's no denying it."

Tara grit her teeth, trying to hold on to righteous indignation; even as her love for him swelled in her brain and her body readied itself to fuck Jackson Teller – which was a task that approached the divine. Somehow her passion for him fueled the outrage she needed to express before they could move forward. "Not so fast, junior. You're forgetting one tiny detail that needs a little more attention than you've given it so far. Obviously, when you 'fall apart,' you invariably fall into someone else's pussy, get your shit all wet up in it, then you scratch your nutsac with sleepy satisfaction _and now – _when you are good and ready – you want to dip back in _this. _Jackson, did you really think it would be that easy, after you totally disrespected me by saying I wasn't your family and fucking that porn bitch – right in the motherfucking clubhouse, so that all of SAMCRO would know and that slut could gloat about it? What the _fuck _were you thinking when you did all this?Because 'loving me' wasn't part of any of that shit!" Tara only stopped ranting when she had to press a hand to her mouth, feeling nauseous. She probably upset the baby, whom she was now certain Jax didn't know about.

"Oh god," Jax whispered. "Tara – " He leaned all the way back, letting his head rest on the top of the chair. Closing his eyes, he rubbed the space between them with a thumb as if to ease a pain there. "I was and I am – a bastard. I pushed you away hard and punched a hole in my own chest. I'm not gonna lie. When I am without you, I fuck anything. Ima is the total opposite of you. Girls like her are part of the muck that I become and the muck I screw around in, trying to forget about you. It never works but at least I cum."

Tara's mouth trembled. She was suddenly so jealous of his 'hundreds' of sexual conquests that she had to work to swallow back the thick bile in her throat. When she finally managed it, her voice came out reedy and weak. "If I could reach through this phone…I would put my fist through your _face._"

A tic worked in his jaw. "You'll have that opportunity soon in person. Let me make myself clear. I'm not perfect and I am admitting to you that I have done wrong, a lot wrong. But how about we also admit that you aren't perfect either, Tara."

"I never said I was!"

"Okay then, that's settled. We know what I do when we're not together. I've always liked women. I always will, which doesn't mean I'm gonna sleep with them. When I'm with you and we're solid," he continued in a softer voice, "I don't want to be with anyone else, and there's a joy and peace in my soul like you wouldn't believe. And right now I'm aching for you. So punish me if you want to. Tell me 'no' and hang up the phone. But you gotta know this, sweetheart. This is just the first skirmish in the war I'm gonna win. If you're honest with yourself, you know you want me too and that we can work out all the other shit - in your favor."

Jax smiled at her indelicate snort. "It's you and me, babe – always. I'm bringing our son home, then I'm coming to get you."

Tara's voice broke as she thought about the appointment she'd made and now knew she wouldn't keep. "You don't know everything, Jax. I love you but it's still not that simple. You, Abel, the rest of the club – just come home safe and we'll talk."

Jax was glad she couldn't see the crazy smile spread across his face. She said she loved him! "I've upset you enough as it is, so I'm hanging up," he said quietly. "Whatever isn't simple we'll deal with it when I get back to Charming. I love you. Get some rest." _Click._

"Jax," she whispered after listening to the dial tone for a few moments. When she finally put the cell down, Tara rubbed her stomach gently, feeling something new.

Hope.


End file.
